"I made up my mind that it wasn’t worth it to set high standards. Life was just going to kick you in the teeth."

Right before the end of my sophomore year at Miamisburg High School they had an Award Assembly. At the assembly awards were going to be passed out for academic achievements and athletic achievements. I was pretty excited because I was hoping I would get a letter in baseball. I had played but I had been used mostly as a utility player. I filled in at several different positions, 1st base, catcher, left field, right field and was used as a pinch runner and pinch hitter. I wasn`t sure if I had played enough to earn a letter. When Mr. Donaldson, the baseball coach went up on stage to give out letters to the baseball players I was really nervous. He called out the names of all the regular starters, that was no surprise, then he said he had a couple more letters to give. When he said Bob Thomas did a great job helping the team in different ways I was very excited. I started thinking I needed to get a Varsity M jacket to put my letter on.

There were more awards to be passed out so I settled in my seat just really being proud of what I had accomplished. I wasn’t paying attention to many of the awards or who was receiving them. Then they announced the award winners of the National Athletic Honor Society. That really peaked my interest. They explained that the winners had to have a 3.6 GPA and had to have won a letter in two different sports. I really wanted to win that award, but I had a GPA of 2.9 and I needed to letter in a sport other than baseball. I set my mind right then that I was going to win that award my Junior year. I knew my standards, about my grades, had to be a lot higher, but I also knew I had to decide on what other sport I would compete in. When that year came to an end I started working on different subjects to raise my grades and I was going to be playing Class E ball that summer. But I also decided I had to figure out how to work on my hitting and fielding so I could make the starting lineup on the baseball team.

For the latter I found an old softball bat and I bought a hand ball. The bat wasn`t even 2 inches in diameter and the handball was a lot smaller than a baseball. There wasn’t any boys around my neighborhood that could help me with batting practice so I was on my own.

Mom and Dad had just had an addition put on our house, it included a two bedroom apartment on the upper level and a 3 car garage below that. The apartment was for my Grandma and Grandpa Moyer. Grandma had been diagnosed with Cancer. They moved in so my mom could take care her since my Grandpa was still working.

What does all that have to do with me being able to get more batting practice? Well one section of the 3 car garage was empty. That was going to be my batting cage. I made a Homeplate and put it on the floor and marked a strike zone on the wall then I took the handball in there and starting throwing it against the opposite wall to try to find a spot that the ball would come back into the strike zone. When I figured that out I basically pitched to myself. I spent 2 to 3 hours everyday taking batting practice. I got to the point where I was hitting that handball, which was 75% smaller than a baseball, with a bat that wasn`t even 2 inches in diameter, more than 95% of the time. 95 out of 100 swings I made solid contact with the ball. By the end of summer, working on my hitting in the garage and playing baseball 3 nights a week and practicing with the team several times a week I was pretty happy with how much my batting eye had improved. A month before school started I signed up to run Cross Country. The first few weeks of practice didn`t go that well. Running in the August heat everyday I spent most of my time bent over vomiting. Then about the third week I was running the two miles with no problem, but I had to work on improving my time so I could make the Varsity. I bought a Stop Watch and got up early in the morning to run 2 miles, dad let me take the car out to be able to figure out where the one mile mark would be. One mile out, one mile back, a stop watch and I was ready to go. When school started I was ready and excited. My whole goal was to get my GPA to 3.6 and to letter in both baseball and cross country.

The year started off really good, so good that I thought I would try out for basketball. I wasn’t dating any girls so I had plenty of time for 3 sports and working on my grades. We were about a month away from the start of basketball and I realized my grades were not as good as when the year started. I knew I would have to quit the basketball team, but it was a hard decision because I was having so much fun. Half the guys on the team were football players and the rest were on the cross country team. During one of practices everyone was messing up. After 30 minutes the coach, Ron Andrews, screamed at everyone to stop. We all turned and looked at him and he said he was sick of how we were playing and told us to run 50 laps around the gym and get a shower and go home. All the cross country runners finished our 50 laps got our shower and were leaving the gym to go home before the football players finished their 50 laps. I was so proud of myself for being able to show up the football players and I wanted to stay on the team but I knew I had to do something to keep my grades up so I quit and finished out the cross country season. Between the end of cross country and the beginning of baseball I concentrated on my grades.

When baseball started I was really happy with where I was grade wise and felt confident I would letter again in baseball. I loved baseball. I could have played baseball 24/7. I knew I was in the best shape I had ever been in and I was ready for the last part of my journey to be able to achieve my goal of receiving an award for the National Athletic Honor Society. What a year it was. Miamisburg was one of the top teams in our league. We also played top schools outside of our league and won most of those games. When the tournament started we knew we had a chance to go to state. We won our 1st, second and 3rd game. Our next game was for the district title and we were playing Wilmington. We were going to be facing their top pitcher, he had already received a scholarship from Ohio State. It was a close game. In the bottom of the last inning we were leading by one run 3-2. Wilmington had a runner at 3rd base, the tying run, and a runner on 2nd base, the potential winning run. There were 2 outs with a right handed batter at the plate. The batter hit a ground ball to our third basemen and we figured the game was over. The ground ball went under the 3rd base men glove and we lost 4-3. We were all stunned that our season was over. All I had left for my junior year was the awards assembly. When the day of the assembly came I had a hard time controlling my excitement. The cross country coach got up and called everyone up on stage who would get a letter. When he called my name I think I jumped out of my seat and before I got to the stage he said that I was going to be one of the captains for my senior year. That was icing on the cake. Lettered in baseball and cross country and had a 3.6 GPA. ONE MORE AWARD. THE ONE I REALLY WANTED. Little did I know that what came next would change my life for the next 8 years. I didn’t get nominated. I went straight to anger. I didn’t feel disappointment, I went straight to anger. I held it in. No one knew because I didn’t show it and didn’t talk about it. I was just furious and couldn’t wait to get out of the assembly. I continued to hold it in and just wanted to finish out my junior year so I could play baseball that summer. I had no idea that there were two more events that would take place before my junior year would come to an end. I mean what else could happen, right. I thought I was as low as I could go in life. I didn`t know I was about to go into a part of my life that I felt there was a darkness, like a heavy cloud, covering every part of my life.

A week later was the last week of school. I had two final exams to take. I knew I had to take them but I didn’t care what kind of grades I got on them. Why try. I just wanted to finish the year so I could play baseball that summer. That was my plan. Since my exams were scheduled in the 1st period and the 3rd. Mom and dad said I could drive to school that day. I took the first test, pretty sure I flunked it, but I didn’t care. I decided to go downtown Miamisburg to get a sandwich. On the drive back to school I was coming up Linden Avenue, which went right by the high school. There were cars parked on the right side of the road. Just as I was going by where the cars were parked two young boys, who were playing on the sidewalk, ran out into the street. I hit them both. One ran into the side of the car right before the front wheel on the passenger side. The other was just in front of him and was hit by the front bumper on the passenger side. I was fortunate that I was able to stop before I ran over the second boy. They were both about 6 or 7 years old. I got out of the car immediately to see how bad they were hurt. There were kids from my class that were outside and the came over to help. My older brother came over and shut the car off. It shook me up pretty good and I didn’t even think to do that. When someone told me that the police and ambulance had been called I just sat on the hood of the car with my head in my hands. Later mom came to get me at school and on the way home she took me by where dad was working so I could tell him what had happened. The rest of the day was a blur until dad got home. Dad decided to contact the police and get the names of the boys so we could go to the hospital and visit them and talk to the parents. We did that the next day. Dad said I had to go with him, I did not want to go but really didn’t have a choice. Dad assured the parents that they had insurance and told them if there was anything else they needed to let him know. Event number one.

The next week was still a blur. I don’t remember anything about it. All I could think about was that I wanted baseball season to start so I could put this all behind me and get my mind off the previous 3 weeks and move on. At that point my anger had diminished a little until, event number two. Two weeks before baseball was going to start I started bleeding really bad when I had a bowel movement. I was afraid to say anything to mom and dad but mom figured it out and took me to the doctors. They sent me to a specialist in Dayton. Dr. Whitoesch, I don’t know why I remember his name. Maybe it was because he gave me some more bad news. Actually his news was, as they say, the straw that broke the camels back. I had to take Iron every day for the loss of blood, I had to eat baby food for a month, I had to use a suppository to help stop the bleeding and the real kicker, I COULD NOT PLAY BASEBALL THAT SUMMER AND COULD NOT COMPETE IN SPORTS MY SENIOR YEAR. I can`t even describe the anger that started building up in me. I hated my life, I hated my mom, I hated my brother, I hated every day that summer and I hated the thought of going back to school my senior year. In case you`re wondering why I never mentioned dad, it was because he was working two jobs so mom could stay at home. It felt like all the decisions were coming from her. Even though I know both of them were making the decisions.

I mentioned earlier that these events, starting with not being nominated to the National Athletic Honor Society, and everything that followed changed my life for the next eight years. Why? Because I made up my mind that it wasn’t worth it to set high standards. It wasn’t worth it to give your best in anything. It wasn’t worth it, why, because life was just going to kick you in the teeth. So all the standards I set, working hard to raise my grades and working hard to be better at baseball and cross country was total waste of time. From now on life was about me and my new standards. Finish high school, get a job, buy a car and get my own place to live so no one could tell me what to do.

My senior year started off pretty good. I was on projection staff, so I could get a pass to get out of classes. Since I didn’t care about my grades I wanted to get out of as many classes as possible. I wasn’t playing sports so in my free time I tried to go to my friend house so I could play basketball or whatever. Anything to get away from mom and dad. I even learned to play poker, which I got pretty good at, and I started drinking. I thought I was doing pretty good until a week before Thanksgiving. I got called to the Principals office. They figured out that I had been skipping classes and told me if I didn’t start attending regularly I would not graduate. At least they didn’t call my parents. All I had to do was get to graduation. By the time I graduated my GPA went from a 3.6 to a whopping 1.9. After graduation I got a job and eventually bought a car and I starting looking for a place to live. No more being controlled by my parents. For the next six years I did what I wanted. I dated every woman I could, and treated them like trash. I stated playing softball. I played over 200 games a year. Monday night was for The Miamisburg Allstars, Tuesday and Thursday I played for Hooper Plumbing, Friday night I played for Parkview Methodist Church. The only reason went to church was to play ball. Every weekend from April till late September I played in tournaments. No more rules, no more people telling what I can or can`t do. Everything was about me. No more standards, no more caring about what people thought of me, no caring about others. Especially women. I hurt a lot of people.

Because things didn’t go how I wanted them to go. Because I felt like working hard and having higher standards was a total waste of time. I lowered my standards, actually I didn’t have any standards. My only standard was to gain all the pleasure I could no matter who else got hurt.

The reason I went into all this detail was to say this. I lowered my standards because I felt like it didn’t matter. I felt like life was a joke, and that making any effort to do what I was taught was right was not worth it. HIGH STANDARDS DID NOT MATTER AND IT WAS A WASTE OF TIME.

This story of what happened to me is why I coached for 25 years, worked with College Bound Student Athletes, worked with Kentucky business College

And worked with the youth at different churches. I didn`t want to see kids go thru what I went thru and give up or lower their standards and just quit on life.

I missed an opportunity to play sport my senior year; but that`s not all I missed an opportunity of possibly getting recruited and being able to play sports, especially baseball in college. I want to help as many kids as possible to achieve their dream of playing at the collegiate level.

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